Scenes of a Single Mom Experience

At the end of 2018, I made a promise to myself that I would pursue my purpose without doubt or hesitation. January 2019 I told myself that I would become an author and a speaker. I didn’t know how this would happen in a year but I knew I would do it. I knew telling my story of becoming a teen mom, my bad decision making in relationships, how my increased faith in God carried me through and my academic achievements would serve as the motivation for some women. Sometimes all it takes is to know someone else did it to give you the extra momentum you need to keep pushing. Writing for Scenes of a Single Mom Volume II did just that!

With God’s grace he presented me with two amazing opportunities and I became a speaker and an author this year. This opportunity would allow me to share my story of teen parenting, past relationships, God’s grace through my present success exactly the way I wanted to talk about it. Essentially sharing what I’ve learned about myself the last 30 years and the breakthrough I experienced to meet the new me now.

So take a trip with me……

Winter 2018, my sister invited to attend an event called Coffee + Clarity hosted by a woman named Tiffany Huff-Strothers. My sister explained it to me was a group of women got together to discuss the obstacles they are facing and receive support. All I heard was women, obstacles and support and I was IN! This event was amazing! During this meeting I cried and laughed so much. I received the push I needed to stand confidently in who God was truly calling me to be. I left that event looking for the date of the next Coffee + Clarity. Then the next one and the next one. As I attended each event it became clear the confidence I needed within myself to step out on faith and pursue what God has called me to truly do.

I connected with Tiffany and began to follow her on social media. She runs a non-profit organization called When She Thrives. She announced she was in the process of selecting new authors for the second volume of the book titled Scenes of a Single Mom. I remembered what I told myself at the beginning of the year, I WILL BE AN AUTHOR. Therefore, I would pursue this opportunity. As I began to complete the application process, I hesitated to apply. I doubted myself. Maybe I’ll do it in 2020. It’s so soon, did I really think I could do this right now? In this moment I allowed the enemy to plant seeds of doubt in my mind but I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to go for it. NOW IS THE TIME!

Don’t block your blessings and opportunities presented to you because you’re afraid to step out on faith!

Therefore, I completed the application and attend an information session to gather additional information regarding the project. If selected, there was a small initial investment that would be needed. Again those doubts began to cloud my mind again. Negative thoughts such as “You won’t be selected for this”, “Are you really going to put your business out there for strangers to read and judge you?”. The negative thoughts were REAL but they didn’t win! I applied for the project and was informed within a month that I was selected amongst 12 other amazing mothers to write a chapter within the second volume of Scenes of a Single Mom. I was in complete shock. God this is really happening!? Alright let’s do this!

The Writing Process……

The process was rough but very needed. It forced me to face the decisions of my past. It required me to face a lot of choices I’ve made subconsciously. I asked myself the following questions:

Why did I always find myself ending up in failed relationships?

Within some of those relationships, what made me feel the abuse (physical, verbal, emotional, & mental) was love?

Why did I stay in relationships that didn’t truly serve me and consisted of lies, belittling, cheating, manipulation, and defamation of my character?

By staying in those relationships, what message was being sent to my girls as a woman and mother? The writing process made me face those issues head on and DO THE WORK within to truly heal every part of me. I could no longer swept my emotions under the rug and continue on with life as if what I endured didn’t mean anything to me. I’m a single mother of two beautiful daughters. I have endured heartbreak after heartbreak but I was committed to breaking the cycle and I did just that by writing my chapter “ I Need a Win”.

Tiffany served as the guide I needed to fully tell my story. She helped me get my story out of my mind and onto the pages within the book. She asked me the right questions that made me address my past. The 12 amazing mothers created the support system I needed to keep pushing. God was at the end of this tunnel with his arms opened wide so proud of his daughter and all that I have accomplished. I’m proud of the woman and mother I have become in this process. My story is now here. I’ve healed completely. I’m happy and I’m WHOLE! I’ve reached the other side to continue to blossom into the woman God has truly called me to be.

What would the 30 year old Ja’Lisa say to the 16 year old Ja’Lisa now…..

You’re going to face some obstacles that will make you feel the world is crushing you. You will experience heartbreak, and betrayal but it all serves a purpose. Who you are now is only a glimpse of who God has called you to be. Don’t give up! Pray and pray and pray some more! God will NEVER leave you nor will he forsake you! The blessings that you will receive are going to blow your mind! Remember to always guard your heart above all else! I’m proud of you! Your drive and motivation at 16 is why at 30 you hold two Master Degrees! YES YOU DID THAT! 

God has so much in store for you and what you face will lay the groundwork for you to assist women with their walk with God. You’re going to break chains Ja’Lisa and God is using you to help set other women FREE!

Order your copy of Scenes of a Single Mom Volume II: Loss, Love & Legacy here!